& when i told you its forever, then that's how its gonna be
don't, wont let her take the place of me.
does she really know you like i know you, all the little things?
does she really love you like i love you, how can she compete?
if she makes me fight for you, die for you, would she do the same?
this is turning into way more than a game.
now it feels like soldiers in a war & none of us are backing down
& i will show you victory is mine before we leave this battle ground
cause she don't wanna leave, & i don't wanna go & i know just how this battle goes
she dont wanna leave, & i dont wanna fight this kind of war
so tell me whats the point in fighting, cause we'll all end up with scars
but if that's what i must go through, then I'm not prepared to lose.
cause I've already bled so much for you..
im getting kinda sick of this battle
wish i could take it back to when i had you
im always thinkin that i can have you, just let her have you..
its gettin kind of hard to convince you, after all the shit that we been through

i know enough is enough its going to be tough to get through this

im sitting here trying to finish this homework but i cant seem to get this situation off of my mind. how pathetic right? lol i thought i was over this, through this and you were completley out of my system. guess not, when the things you do have a huge effect on me. i try to ignore the things you say, for i know sometimes you say them on purpose to get me angry. But im not sure about it this time, it seems like things are changing and you are perfectly fine with it. well why wouldnt you be? it seems to me that you've moved onto someone new. and throughout these three years its never been that way, ive never had to deal with you loving someone else. it was always just me and you. i guess its karma for all the things ive put you through. i feel heart break. and thats what hurts me to say. my mind is going in circles i cant just take this in. ive been living in denial for a couple of days but i guess its just time to face reality, you are gone..lol. fucking hate this..

Here we go again - Demi Lovato.

ALRIGHT so i have a lot to update, a lot to rant, a lot to vent. Lets see.. well i went camping a couple of days ago and it was pretty awesome. Except the fact that there was so much trees and too much wild life for me. But still, it was pretty greezy cant lie. Fixed my sleeping hours which is so awesome so now i can seize the day:) And not be waking up around 2-3 ( i know right? ). Anyway the highlights of the camping trip were.. the old lady yelling at us, police coming, riding in the back of the truck, walking to the washroom in the night, sleeping in the tent. Seriously, it would've been 10x better if Cassandra went, since yenoe we laugh at everything and make jokes out of anything. I HATED THE DRIVE BACK! IT WAS SERIOUSLY HELL! My ipod died.. and i was just sitting there watching trees and pretty ass houses pass by.. and cows and horses.. and every now and then a horrible stank came in the car LOL. Fuck! then we went to kitchner and stayed there for a couple of hours and i played ball. Damn i didnt know i still have my skills(H). I'm not even boosting, I'm so greezy i swear. I was crossing those kids like yo you dont even know bout me :D. Anyway we finally got home and i was SO HAPPY. Until you know who had to rain on my parade. Like seriously, what the hell is up this dudes ass? It's been a horrible month of July, and now you're starting August horrible too? You know what, fuck you. Like i said down there V. I'm gone for a week and you have nothing to say? You should just go die. LOL that was mean, but it was nice at the same time :). UGH SKJFDLKSJFDLS IF ONLY MY STALKERS (YOU) WOULD UNDERSTAND! It makes me really mad because i think about how he used to be and how he changed just because hes busy now. He just contradicted everything he ever said. I guess I'm the stupid one here. But thats soft, you know why? Cause im done being the stupid one. I am back on the market foreal dude. Before i was always like " naw i can't do that.. " But now im just like FUCK IT. You know why? Because I'm so tired of trying to fix things, all the fucking time. Any little thing pisses him off, and he just stays quiet about it. Or denies that hes mad. Like fuck...... tables really turned now. I know i was exactly like that before,but I'm the type of person that doesn't take that kind of shit seriously. Be real. ANYWAY enough of that crap.. Cassandra left today and it was pretty sad. We just chilled all morning till she left.. and yep now my summer is most def gonna be boring. Ugh fuck my life :@ Who's house am i going to go to when that dude pisses me off? Rats :( Well.. im still excited for what the rest of the summer has to offer. PS NEW YORK HERE I COME (L)

my boring life

OH EM GEE.. i cannot believe that jillian picked ed! THIS SEASON WAS SO INTENSE.. but last season on the bachelor was way more intense than this. okay well.. ed is hairy... but other than that he is sorta kinda cute. AND REID CAME BACK OMG KDSJFLKDSJF :( HE WAS THE CUTEST OH EM GEE FOREAL! okay well yeah that made my day.. & after that dating in the dark came on! it was " wicked cool ". SO YEP today i went to my sisters house anddd pretty much did nothing as usual. im suppose to be m.i.a .. WHICH I AM BTW hehe sorta... but not from blogspot... i stopped using facebook & msn.. only when i need people. Becuase you know.. it only reminds me of you know who and nope! dont need that in my life right now! today was pretty good without him :) and im happy. tmr i was aposta go to wonderland but yeah its post poned for another day.. which im not gonna say becuase i know i have some stalkers haha. oh yeah i was really sick through out the weekend.. BUT IT WAS A LIVE WEEKEND REGARDLESS! i guess thats all i have to say. ill update ya when shit gets interesting in my life:) byeee nerds, losers, geeks, jocks, beautifuls, & who ever else reads this (L)

Tired.

im so pissed off, at him.. at myself. how did i even let this happen? Its like i KNEW this was going to happen.. but i convinced myself that it wasnt going to. And what fucking happend yesterday? yeah, IM FUCKING SICK OKAY, DO YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME TO BE ALL HAPPY AND JOLLY? fuck, plus i havent even talked to him in three days, HOW CAN YOU SAY THINGS ARE DIFFERENT WHEN WE TALK? seriously you're a fucking idiot and your excuses are lame as fuck. Just because you're working now you think the whole world is gonna change. BUDDY you worked last year and everything was fine. DID I EVER LEAVE YOU WHEN THINGS WERE ROUGH? NO. I ALWAYS STICKED WITH YOU THROUGH WHATEVER. and now? things arent even rough and you're dipping. well you know what, have a nice fucking trip dude. And when you come back, when you start to miss me, when you start to wonder where i went. Just remember that you were the one who did this. You fucked up this time. We fixed it, & It WAS good. But YOU fucked up. So you can blame yourself for this loss. I seriously dont fucking give a fuck anymore. Im so tired of trying to mend all the broken thigs in our relationship. Im fucking tired of getting cut everytime by them. Im tired. So later.

Its been so long!

man, its really been a while. at first i was so hyped up about this whole blog shit but then it just got boring and i got lazy. well my life has been awesome.. been going out a lot, parties, chilling and what not. summer has only begun! but just the thought of school coming makes me freak. really gotta get my head in the books this year, no horsing around! im so mad because people are like doubting me, well not really doubting but like saying " oh you're diet isnt working " and shit telling me what to do with MY diet like dude go live your own life and do your own diet dont tell me what to do stfu. like shit, my diet is ACTUALLY WORKING.. i fit into some pants that didnt fit before. which is soooooooo awesome :) tmr im going to buy a bathing suit.. i like this one piece one its so nice, but its not like i have the body to rock it anyway. NOT YET, i repeat.. yet:) hehe. anyway.. what else? hmm.. oh yeah the wedding omg the dude i wanted to see really badly left early.. what a bummer geez:@ i dont think ill be seeing him anytime soon but oh well. i just watched half of hangover, AGAIN until my mom came downstairs and it was the part where her boob was out breast feeding the baby. so yeah i had to stop it, but now im not in the mood to watch anything. i guess thats itttttttt. bye stalkers.